“The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.” ~ Hubert H. Humphrey Jr.
A letter to The Families…
I am glad you are here.
This is my “There is Hope and Help page.”
I seriously hope you find these resources as helpful as I have. I still use some of the resources I have posted here from time to time. Some resources I use more often then others depending on what is going on in my day or week and my mood. Some I do not use at all anymore.
Currently my favorite forms of helping myself are Tapping on my own, Tapping with a Tapping Coach and attending SMART Recovery Family and Friend’s meetings weekly. I wanted to share this because I get asked this question a lot.
I do make it a point to attend weekly SMART Recovery Family and Friend’s Meetings https://www.smartrecovery.org/about-us/ for my own self care and well being. I make sure to schedule the SMART Recovery meetings on my calendar every week. I attend meetings even when things are going well.
I also use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) aka “Tapping” daily no matter what is going on in my life. For example I use Tapping on the difficult days, the so-so days, and even the good days, for whatever events and emotions are present that day. My Philosophy is, I tap on the good days to make sure I’m equipped for the harder days and I remember to use Tapping in those moments.
Quite often I use Tapping multiple times a day for my own well being and that is not including the time I spend with my clients Tapping with them during their sessions. In addition to this I have my own tapping accountability partner for over a year now and that has helped me greatly.
I find Tapping to be extremely beneficial in my life and that is why I use it and decided to help others learn how to use this amazing tool with their own finger tips! And it works! That’s the best part
That’s how I came up with Heal your Heart with Your Hands! Because that’s exactly what it does for me.
I have put this page together with love because it is near and dear to my heart. When I was looking for help over the years I could not find help in the beginning of my search to help myself deal with other people’s Substance Abuse in my life. I kindly refer to the people in my life affected by Substance Abuse as my “Loved Ones”. More then one person was affecting my life with their own struggles with Substance Abuse. Some Loved Ones affected me so much more then others.
I have a story about the ups and downs, the hurts and sadness that family addictions has had on me as most people have. I will not be discussing the full details, circumstances or events of mine. I want to focus more on the helpful aspects of my story. I only added a few key points so that you the person reading my page can see that I am very familiar with family addiction and I understand the struggles associated with it. I am going to share some key points leading to my discovery of the SMART Recovery Family and Friend’s program. Thank you for joining me..
I started out with Al-Anon https://al-anon.org/newcomers/what-is-al-anon-and-alateen/. I attended Al-Anon meetings regularly at first. I was tremendously appreciative for these groups. I then started to notice I attended Al-Anon on and off because some of what was said there did not sit right with me. For example the part about me “being powerless” I could not wrap my head around that even though I tried and I tried hard. The meetings were helpful for sure especially when I thought there was nothing else.
Later I stumbled upon NAR-ANON https://www.nar-anon.org/what-is-nar-anon which helped me but at the same time made me feel sad and hopeless when I left the family meeting a lot of the time. I still would say to myself, Thank God there was something I could attend when I wanted and needed to. NAR-ANON helped me by not feel like I was a crazy person, going off the deep end or that it was just me losing my grip on life due to the circumstances around me. The groups did help. There is a saying in the meetings, take what you want and leave the rest. I did just that while trying to keep my hopeful perspective alive.
Honestly while attending meetings and tapping, I still felt like life was too much to handle on some days after leaving the meetings or calls depending on what was going on that day or evening. I felt hopeful only some of the time while attending those programs. Again they did help me at the time and boy was I thankful for that. Tapping in addition to going to the meetings really helped calm me down.
I was tired of being told to let your Loved One “hit rock bottom’ and that I was “powerless.” That never felt good to me or made sense. That all or nothing mentality was extremely hard to accept. I did try to accept that anyway even though I went against my own judgment. For some it works and works well, for me it did not.
Substance Abuse and Processing Addictions are a very challenging situation. It is difficult and emotionally trying for everyone involved.
My advice to you is to keep going to meetings until you find a meeting program that works for you and if it stops working look for another type of meeting.
I have lost people I love to substance abuse, for them death was their rock bottom and that was extremely upsetting and distressing to me and I did not want to accept that and chose not to. There had to be more I kept saying to myself.
Due to the loss of PEOPLE extraordinarily close to me, I chose to find a different way that felt right to me. I kept going to meetings and trying different Addiction Counselors while still searching for something different because I was terrified of the real possibility of losing my son to addiction. Knowing that was a possible outcome. I kept searching for Family support groups that felt right to me while still showing love, compassion and kindness to the people around me affected by their own Substance Abuse, even when they didn’t think they were being negatively impacted by their situation or impacting others.
Due to the loss of life, of a person very close to me I kept looking for something that made more sense to me. I ended up finding the SMART Recovery Program and the hope I associate with it and was looking for.
AND NOW I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD!!!
SMART Recovery Family and Friend’s weekly meetings combined with my practice of Tapping daily has HELPED me greatly and boy do I feel HOPEFUL and maybe it can help you too!
When I say Loved Ones it applies to Family members, Friends and Friends who have become Family without having to name the person who I am talking about. It is a good way to refer to the person without having to say their name for their own privacy and protection. I feel it is very kind to refer to them as Loved Ones. This way there is no stigmatizing labels https://nap.nationalacademies.org/catalog/23442/ending-discrimination-against-people-with-mental-and-substance-use-disorders. I have always found that to be helpful and aids in the recovery of your Loved Ones and recovery in Ourselves.
Yes we Recover too- a big “ ah ha” for me.
I truly have had some great results from these websites I have listed. I have come to know some of the amazing people who facilitate some of the SMART Recovery Meetings and they are good people who volunteer their time. I myself have just completed the SMART Recovery Facilitator Program Course work. Not exactly sure what I’m going to do with that yet.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
Remember this is not a one size fit all journey. What might work for me or someone you know might or might not work for you, that is why there are different suggestions listed here. Sometimes your in the mood for something different and that is provided here as an option for you as well.
I would love to hear your feed back about my “There is Hope and Help page,” and if you found it helpful or not. I am open to suggestions and feed back.
Email me at email@example.com and let me know if anything on my website has helped you.
If you would like to work with me or are just thinking about it please schedule a 20 minute get to know you session free of charge at your convenience and lets see how I can help you.
I believe in the 6 C’s of family addiction — Most of the time that is AND OH BOY can that be hard depending on the day and event I am dealing with. And as a Mom, I have to constantly remind myself of this and some days I’m not in the mood to hear or read this.
I have the 6 C’s printed out in large print and hanging by my light switch in my bedroom so that it is a constant reminder to take care of myself in a healthy manor while dealing with life’s experiences.
THE 6C’s of family addiction:
- I didn’t Cause it,
- I can’t Control it,
- I can’t Cure it,
- I can take Care of myself,
- I can Communicate my feelings,
- I can make healthy Choices.
Wishing you well,
Peace, Love & Tapping
PS: There is a lot of good information on here, please do not overwhelm yourself. Come back and visit often.