Tips for Self-Care and Supporting our Loved Ones.
As a side, note these tips work even if addiction is not present.
The holiday season is said to be a time of joy, love, and togetherness. Yes that is true, it is also true that during the holiday season it can be quite a stressful time all on it’s own. However, when addiction is present within a family or relationship, it can add an extra layer of complexity and stress to an already challenging time. It is important to prioritize self-care and find ways to support both yourself and your loved one during this season. Here are some tips I find helpful for myself and my clients to help keep the peace and maintain a sense of balance:
1. Practice Self-Care:
Taking care of yourself is crucial, think Oxygen mask, here is my article on that, especially when supporting someone with addiction. Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Prioritize self-care activities that bring you joy and help you recharge. You would not let your cell phone battery lose it’s charge completely all of the time, why would you allow that to happen to yourself? I feel we are important, more important than our cells phone for sure. There are many ways to practice self-care. This could include (and is not limited to) exercise, meditation, tapping, spending time in nature, or engaging in hobbies that bring you fulfillment. By nurturing your own well-being, you will be better equipped to support your self, your loved one, and possible upsets.
2. Set Boundaries:
Establishing clear boundaries is essential for maintaining your own mental and emotional well-being. Communicate your boundaries with love and compassion, making it clear what you are comfortable with and what you are not comfortable with. This may involve setting limits on our own behaviors too. For example; refusing to engage in arguments or confrontations related to addiction. Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-care, not a rejection of your loved one. I like the saying that we attach with love and boundaries.
Side note here: In my opinion, as all my articles are, here are some quick tips about boundaries. Here are my top 6 thoughts to keep in mind when setting boundaries. I think they might be very helpful in helping set some boundaries right away (more to come on boundaries in a later article).
Boundaries
- Boundaries are guidelines that we identify for ourselves, to define what we feel are reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave around us and how to treat us.
- Boundaries are not restrictive walls that close us in and shut others out.
- Boundaries can help minimize miscommunication and free us to enjoy a healthier relationship with our Loved Ones.
- Healthy boundaries are not about the other person or their actions. They are about ourselves.
- Boundaries are not meant to punish the other person.
- Boundaries are not meant to control the other person either.
3. Seek Support:
Don’t hesitate to reach out for support during this time. Connect with friends, family, or support groups who understand what you are going through. Sharing your experiences, concerns, and emotions with others who have similar experiences can provide a sense of validation and relief. Additionally, consider seeking professional help through a therapist, counselor, or a Coach (that’s me) to navigate the complexities of addiction and the holiday season.
4. Practice Compassionate Communication:
When engaging in conversations with your loved one, practice compassionate communication. Choose your words carefully, speaking from a place of empathy and understanding. Avoid blame or judgment, as these can escalate tensions and hinder productive dialogue. Instead, express your concerns and feelings using “I” statements, focusing on the impact of their addictive behaviors, not them as a person, has on you and your relationship. Try to start to separate the two, the person from the addictive behaviors.
5. Plan Sober-Friendly Activities:
During the holiday season, plan activities that are inclusive and supportive of your loved one’s sobriety. Avoid events or environments that may trigger cravings or temptations. Instead, opt for activities that promote connection, such as game nights, movie marathons, or volunteering together. By creating a safe and supportive environment, you can help your loved one feel included and valued. Do not pressure your loved one to go into situations if they are not ready, this can create conditions where they might have a slip or lapse.
6. Practice Gratitude:
Amidst the challenges, it’s important to cultivate a sense of gratitude. Here is where I highly encourage you to take out your magnifying glass to encourage yourself and your loved one to focus on the positive aspects of life, no matter how small they may seem. Expressing gratitude can help shift the focus away from addiction and foster a sense of hope and appreciation for the present moment. I still do this. I find it helpful to say to myself all of the improvements or wins I have been seeing or having. I say them out loud or silently to myself. Either way works. Or sometimes I just focus on the love I have for my loved one and that helps tremendously.
7. Seek Professional Help if Needed:
If you find that the challenges of addiction are overwhelming during the holiday season, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. For example; addiction specialists, therapists, and support groups can provide guidance, resources, and a safe space to navigate the complexities of addiction and its impact on relationships.
Organizations like ‘SMART Recovery’, the ‘SMART Recovery Family and Friends’, and the ‘Center for Motivation and Change’ are my top 3 favorite places!
Remember, the holiday season can be challenging, and quite stressful for anyone at any age. Although it is also an opportunity for growth, healing, and connection. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support, practicing compassionate communication, planning sober-friendly activities, cultivating gratitude, and seeking professional help when needed, you can navigate this season with greater peace, patience, and resilience. Together, you and your loved one can find moments of joy and create meaningful memories, fostering hope for a brighter future. I wish that for you and for all of us now and always.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. If you have any questions regarding ‘Keeping the peace during the Holidays when addiction is present’ please feel free to reach out to me. How can I help with this? Sometimes talking to a Coach is helpful. I am that Coach. Contact me at 516-984-3756 or use the button below.
Wishing you well always..
Peace, Love, & Tapping,
Cassandra Toppi
