St. Patrick’s Day is a festive occasion celebrated by many, often involving social gatherings and alcohol consumption. However, if you have a loved one who is dealing with substance use disorder, this holiday can present unique challenges. It is essential to approach the day with sensitivity, open communication and a nonjudgmental approach to ensure their well-being. In this blog post, we will explore how to have a conversation with your loved one and discuss some of the request of how you would like the day to be handled, using some Cassandra and SMART Recovery terminology.
Educate Yourself:
Before requesting a conversation, take the time to educate yourself about substance use disorder and the recovery process. I highly suggest attending a few SMART Recovery 4 Point meetings if you haven’t been to any yet to see some of the discussions from the recovery side of things regarding recovery from Substance Use or Processing Addictions. Understanding the challenges your loved one faces will help you approach the conversation with empathy, kindness and some more helpful knowledge. SMART Recovery (Self Management and Recovery Training) is a science-based program that provides tools and techniques for individuals seeking recovery from addiction with any type of addiction. Familiarize yourself with the SMART Recovery Family and Friends principles to better support your loved one and yourself.
Choose the Right Time and Place:
Selecting an appropriate time and place for the conversation is crucial. Find a quiet and comfortable setting where both of you can speak openly without distractions. Avoid discussing sensitive topics when your loved one is under the influence or experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Choose a moment when they are more receptive and emotionally stable. I like to say think in terms of green lights and red lights. Green lights mean go and red lights mean stop. When is it a green light moment to have this conversation? Preferably before going out or joining in the festivities of St. Patrick’s Day. Not while you are at the event or when you have just arrived. That would be a red light moment and most likely not well received.
Use Non-Judgmental Language:
When discussing St. Patrick’s Day plans, it’s important to use non-judgmental language. Instead of criticizing or lecturing, express your concerns and observations using “I” statements. For example, say, “I’ve noticed that St. Patrick’s Day can be challenging for you, and I want to understand how I can support you during this time.”
Employ SMART Recovery Terminology:
SMART Recovery provides a framework for individuals to manage their addictive behaviors. Incorporating SMART Recovery terminology into your conversation can help your loved one feel understood and supported. Use terms like “coping skills,” “triggers,” and “lifestyle balance” to discuss strategies for navigating St. Patrick’s Day. Encourage them to identify potential triggers and develop a plan to avoid or cope with them effectively. Use terms like. “I would prefer”, “It would be helpful to me if”, “I feel concerned when.” Vocabulary exchange can be a really helpful and useful tool when having a conversation with your loved one.
Active Listening and Empathy:
During the conversation, practice active listening and empathy. Allow your loved one to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Validate their experiences and emotions, showing understanding and support. By actively listening, you create a safe space for open dialogue and collaboration.
Collaborate on a Plan:
Work together to create a plan for St. Patrick’s Day that aligns with your loved one’s recovery goals or goals to cut down or testing the waters of recovery. Discuss alternative activities or events that don’t involve alcohol or substances. Encourage them, to engage in healthy coping mechanisms, such as attending support group meetings, maybe some extra meetings if they all ready attend meetings. Spending time with supportive friends, or participating in sober events. Collaborating on a plan empowers your loved one and reinforces their commitment to recovery.
Offer Ongoing Support:
Remember that supporting someone with substance use disorder is an ongoing process. Offer your continued support and encouragement beyond St. Patrick’s Day. Be available to listen, provide resources, and help them stay connected to their recovery community. Celebrate their progress and acknowledge their efforts, reinforcing their commitment to a healthier lifestyle. All victories are worth mentioning no matter how small.
Having a conversation with your loved one dealing with substance use disorder about St. Patrick’s Day can be challenging and nerve racking it is essential for their well-being and yours. Do not assume anything. Do not let your loved one have to try to read your mind. That is a hard thing for anybody to do and can cause unnecessary fights. I invite you to communicate what you are thinking in a kind manor. You might be surprised by how well the conversation goes. By educating yourself, using non-judgmental language, incorporating SMART Recovery terminology, Cassandra tips and offering ongoing support, you can help them navigate this holiday successfully. Remember, kindness, open communication, empathy, and collaboration are key to fostering a supportive environment for your loved one’s recovery journey. This might be new to you and new to your loved one. Please be kind to yourself and your loved one when trying a new way of doing things.
If you have any further questions or need additional guidance, feel free to reach out to me. I’m here to support you every step of the way.
Contact me at 516-984-3756 or click the button below.
Wishing you well always..
Peace, Love, & Tapping,
Cassandra Toppi
